Experiencing difficulty with your new in-laws? Are you hoping to build a better bond and learn how to have a good relationship with your spouse’s parents?
It’s no secret that dealing with in-laws can become quite an uphill struggle. It’s already difficult to keep a relationship between a couple strong. This multiplies tenfold when you add the in-laws, people you didn’t spend a lifetime getting to know and love.
All of a sudden, they’re a big part of your life.
Forging a strong relationship with them, however, can prove beneficial for your marriage. Discover how to strengthen your bond with your in-laws with our list of relationship tips below:
Spend Reasonable Time Together
You don’t have to live with your in-laws right after marriage. It’s a smarter choice to live separately from them since this shows determination, independence, and maturity. It proves you and your spouse can handle life without their guiding hands.
However, this doesn’t mean you should avoid spending time with your in-laws. Schedule days you can hang out, even if it’s not for anything special.
At the same time, don’t spend too much time with them. Don’t get too clingy or make it look like you depend on them too much. Give them to know you and feel comfortable around you but don’t smother them with too much attention.
The previous tip leads into another crucial in-law relationship tip: set boundaries early on. It’s okay to set your foot down and be a little strict with your set of rules. You married their son/daughter and they have to accept that you live by a new set of rules now.
Make sure to inform your in-laws about these boundaries. If, for example, you can’t accept visits during the weekdays due to work, make sure they understand those reasons. Don’t simply state a new restriction without giving them the proper context behind the decision.
Avoid setting boundaries simply because you don’t like your in-laws. Try to work things out but maintain a pace you feel comfortable in.
Work With Your Spouse
Who else to ask for relationship advice with the in-laws than their child? Communicate with your spouse and try to get the best tips when it comes to dealing with their parents. Let your spouse know the things you like and don’t like about their parents so that they can help you make appropriate adjustments.
Remember that your spouse already knows the ins and outs regarding their parents. They know what makes their parents tick and what they like in a person. Your spouse already knows how to work around their parents’ issues so pay attention.
The secret to forging a good relationship with your in-laws is to maintain open communication. It can seem awkward at first but don’t hesitate to keep trying. They might not open up to you at first but that’s exactly why you have to stick with the plan and never give up.
Start with topics you know they love. These are great conversation starters. Once you establish rapport, you can bring in other topics such as dislikes, political differences, or boundaries between them and your married life.
If you feel a little anxious, open up communication through chat or SMS. It doesn’t matter which medium you use as long as you keep trying.
Don’t Change Who You Are
It’s okay to strive to impress your in-laws. You want them to like you, after all.
However, you shouldn’t have to change who you are as a person simply to get their approval. Doing so makes you look like an imposter or hypocrite. You won’t feel happy having to put on a persona every time you have to hang around your in-laws.
Let them know who you are, flaws and all. Learn to agree to disagree on things. People have different opinions on things and you don’t always have to see eye-to-eye with your in-laws.
Give Them Proper Living Space
One of the best ways to form a solid relationship with your in-laws is to give them space in your home. You don’t have to start living with in-laws and keeping them permanently in your home. However, it’s always a good idea to give them space whenever they want to visit.
Don’t settle for an extra room. Consider getting a mother in law suite, which is like having a separate apartment unit or extension solely for your spouse’s parents.
If you have good reasons to live with in-laws, this can work in your favor too. Now you have a place for them to stay within your property but both parties have a sense of privacy and security.
Always Take the Initiative
Don’t wait for your in-laws to approach you. They already have a lot to deal with, especially now that their child lives with someone else. Take the initiative and show interest in getting to know your spouse’s family.
Plan Activities Together
Does your father-in-law love football or fishing? Go out with them and spend a weekend participating in their hobbies. Do the same with your mother-in-law.
You are now a part of their family as much as they are a part of yours. Plan activities that you both can enjoy, like camping or having a barbecue. Even binge-watching a Netflix show can work wonders to bring you together.
That said, always keep the previous tip close to heart. You don’t have to pretend to like the activity. Simply give it a try and give some feedback so that they understand how you feel.
You might even end up with a new favorite hobby!
Now You Know How to Have a Good Relationship
Learning how to have a good relationship with your in-laws can seem like a slippery slope. However, with these tips, you can establish a strong bond with them in no time. Don’t rush things and work your way to get their approval.
But why stop with this guide when we have so much more to offer? Continue reading our other posts today and get all the tips and tricks regarding relationships, payday loans, technology, and more!